Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
