if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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