she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
