Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize