Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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