it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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