piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Houston, we have a blender
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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