This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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