I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
