I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize