I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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