Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
