So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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