Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
