its not stalking. its research.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
