You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Quick, to the slutcave!
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
