escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
