just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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