"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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