Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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