ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
