look no pants
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize