Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize