so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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