I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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