Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
