im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There's always time for handjobs
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize