I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i think my tv is drunk
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
