if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
