I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
