Swine flu. Run for my life!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
