I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My life is pants optional.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
