Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
