I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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