i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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