I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize