Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
