Need sex. Gaining weight.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
