She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
