Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
