party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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