Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
