i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
