And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
