So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
