She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
