I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize