i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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