dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
