The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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