I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
