your thong is hanging out like whoa
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
