she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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