I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
