people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
