wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
