I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
