no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
