I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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