erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
