I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
