he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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