I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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