I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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