So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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