me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
