My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
