Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Are we still banned from the library?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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