We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My pussy is not your playground.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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