I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
