I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize