She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
