my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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