D3 body, D1 cock
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
