You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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